Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Improv Practice script

Improv Practice written by Katie Schultz
                                                                   
This is based, once again, on a conversation Borrik Svenson and I had. Yes, you should worry.

Captain Dreadnaught: Want to practice improv tonight?

Borrik Svenson: No.

Cap: Why?

Bor: Too busy.

Cap: You’re always too busy.

Bor: Yup.

Cap: It’s impossible to carry on a conversation with you!

Bor: Yup.

Cap: We should put this into script form. (Pulls out paper and pencil, writes.) What did we say after this?

Bor: Don’t know.

Cap: Anyway, why don’t you want to practice improv?

Bor: Because I don’t want to.

Cap: But you want to improve at improv, don’t you?

Bor: Yeah.

Cap: So why don’t we practice now? No time like the present.

Bor: Because I’m going to be eating and I kind of like to eat instead of talk.

Cap: So you can’t carry on a conversation while eating? I don’t care if you talk with your mouth full. I’m not 
picky about table manners. (Bor slurps popsicle.) Please? (Bor slurps.) Will you practice improv if I do the dishes?

Bor: Yeah.

Cap: Hmmm…I’ll do the dishes.

Bor: You waited too long. Due to inflation, you have to give me your allowance now too.

Cap: That’s highway robbery!

Bor: This isn’t exactly a highway.

Cap: Not all people have to be bribed to practice improv!

Bor: So?

Cap: Do you realize that we’ve been practicing improv all this time?

Bor: No, we haven’t.

Cap: Yes, we have.

Bor: We’ve just been carrying on a conversation.

Cap: Technically, we’ve been practicing improv.

Bor: Actually, we’ve been carrying on a conversation.

Cap: (frustrated) If you’d just admit that I’m right, this could all be settled.

Bor: I’d rather swallow a live hamster.

Cap: Gross!

Bor: How did this conversation start?

Cap: I, the brilliant one, wanted to practice improv. You did not.

Bor: And you say we’ve been doing improv all this time.

Cap: That’s what I said.

Bor: So, you stole improv practice from me.

Cap: What?!

Bor: I’ll have to contact my insurance company.

Cap: No, you misunderstood. I…uhh…

Bor: See? I win.

Cap: Now wait a minute!

Bor: Nope. I won. (Exits.)

Cap: Sore loser. (Exits.)

2 comments:

  1. Join the Mumbai Improv Meetup for fun Improv sessions on weekends. Location: Mumbai/India

    Click here to join: http://www.meetup.com/improv/

    Momo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Join the Mumbai Improv meetup for fun Improv sessions every weekend. It's suitable for beginners (even if you have never done Improv!)

    We charge Rs.200 ($4) for first-timers and Rs.50 ($1) for newcomers. All the money collected is given to an under-privileged lady on the street at the end of the workshop.

    Join here: http://www.meetup.com/improv/

    Momo

    ReplyDelete

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