Journalism script

I wrote this script quite a while ago and just got it up here. Enjoy!

Journalism

Cast:

Sue

Matt

David

Props:

About a dozen loose sheets of paper

3 chairs

Table

(Sue enters and sits at table, glancing at watch impatiently. Matt and David enter and sit.)

Sue: Guys, if you’re going to succeed in the journalism business, you’re going to have to get places on time.

Matt: But better late than never.

Sue: Let’s look at the stories you came up with over the weekend. Matt, you go first.

Matt: Okay. Here’s a story about the weather: “Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.”

Sue: Is that the title you’re going to use?

Matt: Yeah.

Sue: But don’t you see the duh part of the headline?

Matt: (studies paper) Nope.

Sue: Oh well.

David: Where’s the well?

Sue: What?

David: You said oh well. That implies that you’re talking to a well.

Sue: David, what did you come up with?

David: An elderly lady had a great score in golf. “Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One.”

Sue: And are you planning on using that title?

David: Sure. Why not?

Sue: Matt, why don’t you list all the other ones you came up with?

Matt: A report on the latest strike: “If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, it May Last a While.” The Boeing 747 accident: “Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Experts Say.” Health group studies: “New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.”

David: What about my turn?

Sue: (sighs) Go ahead, David.

David: An article on cooking: “Kids Make Nutritious Snacks.” In health: “Hospitals Are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors.” The state of the schools: “Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.”

Sue: I think you guys are just trying to make life hard for me. You’ve done nothing but goof off in class since the first day!

Matt: So sue me. Get it? SUE me! (David and Matt high-five.)

Sue: (groans)

David: But you haven’t heard all the ones we came up with yet. We just haven’t written the articles to go with them. “Miners Refuse to Work after Death.”

Matt: Or “Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy.”

David: How about “Crash Courses for Private Pilots.”

Sue: Please stop!

Matt: “Filming in Cemetery Angers Residents.”

David: Oh yeah? “Include Your Children When Baking Cookies.”

Matt: Is that a challenge? “Man Recovering After Fatal Accident!”

David: Just listen to this one! “Many Antiques at Senior Citizens’ Sale!”

Matt: “March Planned for Next August!”

David: “Man Steals Clock, Faces Time!”

Sue: Enough!

David: Not yet. “Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead!”

(All exit.)